Live Like You've Got a Set

What motivates you? What sets off your fight or flight response? What makes you stand your ground or run and hide? What scares you? Why do you play games with people?

I have a lot of motivations lately. I want to stand on my own and be responsible for myself. I want to be ready to be an equal partner in my next relationship. I want to express myself in whatever manner works for me. I want my voice to be heard. I want to get healthier so I don't end up sick like my parents were. Besides, healthier people have better sex.

When something scares you, I mean real gut-wrenching fear, do you meet it head-on? or do you look for somewhere to hide, someone to cast blame on? Dealing with fear is a lot like dealing with choices. You have to own it, don't let it own you. Be the kind of person who has the cahones to face fear and do what needs done without causing more drama. Forgive me, but I'm gonna quote a Harry Potter movie: Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself.

Let's look at an example: some people are afraid to love, to get close to someone, to let another person see them for who they truly are. With this mindset, love itself becomes the enemy. I'm afraid of getting that close to someone and I've got the cahones to say it. I own my fear. I'm a lot stronger than I used to be, but the thought of letting someone close enough to break my heart again makes my nerves scream. When someone starts getting close, I want them closer, but I'm afraid to pull them in. It's normal to fear being hurt. But I won't let that fear control me. I will reach out to that person. I will take that risk because I refuse to miss out on the opportunity to find something that just might be the love of my life.

Why do some people feel the need to create drama? What does it mean if a person claims she/he can't stand drama, yet she/he is the one who pushes all the buttons to create the drama? Why would you want to do that to yourself? Do people really enjoy inflicting that kind of pain on themselves and the people around them? That's the thing I don't get. Whether you fight or run, why put yourself in the position to have to choose? It's a complete and utter waste of energy. Let that baggage go. Let go of the emotion that's tied up in making yourself and the other person miserable. Clean that mess up, then you have some room for some happiness.

I guess I just don't understand why people want to make themselves miserable. I want to be happy. I want to be loved. I want to know someone desires me as much as I desire him. That's basically what the human condition boils down to.