27 December 2008

No Worries

A few more days and the holiday season will be over. I wonder how you could measure all the stress of the Christmas season. For myself, this was the second Christmas without my father. I felt his presence around me a lot. I think he knew I needed him. This was the first Christmas since the break-up. The ex was not big into the holiday thing because of his family. I always tried to make sure he felt included in what my family did. Everything definitely felt weird this year.

I don't like this kind of stress. For one thing, it took me a week to figure out what the issue was. Then I lost all my focus. I haven't been able to concentrate, haven't slept well, haven't eaten right. I got sick, wrecked my car. Overall, I'm glad Christmas is gone. My aunt asked me a couple days ago how long it had been since I meditated. It's been at least a month. That's way too long when dealing with holiday stress. And January makes a whole year for the separation. Time to file those divorce papers. I think when it's finalized I'll through a big party. If that sense of relief is anywhere near the sense of relief I felt after Christmas, a party would be good.

I may repeat myself here, forgive me. It's important to deal with issues in a manner that is healthy. You can't keep all that emotion bottled up. I have a couple of writer friends, both guys, who don't deal well with stress. They bury themselves in their writing and don't speak to anybody for days. It's good to keep writing. It would be better if they were actually writing out their frustrations as opposed to hiding. I know if either of them read this they would argue that they aren't hiding, just trying to be productive. But when something major stresses them out, they burrow into the writing like it's a security blanket. They don't deal with the issue at all. What is this doing to them? One drinks, (yeah, I know, not all the time) and the other has a heart condition. I know the one knows what would solve a lot of his problems. But he claims he is too old and too set in his ways to make any changes now. So he continues being unhappy and hiding behind his computer. The other one, I don't know if he truly realizes he has the power to change his circumstances or if he is simply overwhelmed by the task of deciding what action to take.

The important thing is that you recognize the situation and do take action. I've been trying to make time to meditate. In concession to that I have Celtic music playing while I write this and a candle burning. You have to let go of all that stress or it will eat you up inside. It helps to have a friend you can talk to, even if it's just to talk about bullshit so you can clear your mind. Sometimes our friends know when we need to talk even when we don't. So even if you're in the middle of a scene, pick up the phone. It may be just the person you've been looking for.

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