One Risk at a Time

Do you play poker? I play Texas Hold'em. Absolutely love the game. I play in a points league. I have played for money, but not often. Poker is a nice way for me to relax with friends. It is also a calculated risk. In my 37 years on this planet I haven't taken a lot of risks. I'm starting to venture beyond my comfort zone, reposition those boundaries that have held me back for so long.

I have always explored risks from a safe distance, hovering on the edge of the situation, afraid of getting hurt if I got too close. The last few months have shown me that I don't have to be afraid to take a risk. Every risk I take, no matter how small or large, moves me one step closer to finding the real Becca. I know she's lurking somewhere behind the hazel eyes and the streaks of gray. If I get hurt, I will heal. But I will never grow as a person if I don't take that chance.

Each risk is an opportunity to find something new and exciting. It may be an experience, an event, a friend, a new love. But if I don't take that risk, I'll just be sitting at home doing my nails. I've taken a few risks lately, doing things I've never done before. Even my new self won't take the risk unless there is a connection, a reason for it. I've taken one kinda big risk. I allowed someone to get close. I've been trying to keep my distance from people since the break-up of my marriage. But I felt the need to take this risk. I found a connection I didn't expect to find. I definitely don't regret it. Truth be known I really enjoyed it. I never know where those opportunities will lead me.

I will not let my past keep me afraid to explore my future. Only I control where I go and what risks I will take. I will look in the mirror and see where I've been. Only then can I decide where to go next.